My Conspiracy Theory about Obama’s Birth Certificate Release

Today, Obama released his long-form birth certificate. Hooray! We put the birtherism to rest, like 70,000 news cycles since he released for the first time what-should-have-been-good-enough-evidence that he was, in fact, born in Hawaii! It’s over!

Wait, why today? Here’s my conspiracy theory:

Obama *also* announced today that Gen. Patraeus will be his new CIA head starting in July.  So, George W. Bush’s go to person on Iraq (and Obama’s go to person on Afghanistan) is now Obama’s go-to on the CIA amidst increasing questions of the United State’s willingness to be open and transparent in its foreign policy. That story fits  in with the narrative that Obama’s foreign policy is very close to Bush’s.

The birther story has been around for like 2 years. Sure, it’s become more mainstream thanks to Donald Trump’s hairpiece announcing that Donald Trump is a birther. But that’s not drastically more stupid than this story has ever been. Trump is a sociopathic billionaire with bad hair. He might be more mainstream, but he’s still an idiot.

By (finally) releasing this long-form birth certificate Obama

(a) Buries the Patraeus / Panetta story

(b) Gives Obama more oxygen to debate budget issues

(c) Reinforces narrative that Obama’s the Serious Person in the room as he gears up against the boneheads and Tea Partiers that are lining up on the Republican side for 2012

(d)… and the Donald Trump stuff is a nice little bonus because it’s so ridiculous.

What do you think? Is it that Obama’s just succumbing to a news frenzy about these issues? Or does he figure that if he’s gotta release it and say something about his birth certificate, he might as well bury a story he doesn’t like in the process?


April 27, 2011. Uncategorized.

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